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  • Writer's pictureKeira

The Inadequacy of Acknowledgements

There's that part of the Oscar telecast where a winner fishes a crumpled piece of paper from a plunging bodice and proceeds to read from it until the swell of music pushes them off the stage.

Thank you to my agents at Harriman, Folsom, Blinky and Tush. Thank you to my seventh grade teacher Mr. Goutman who had us read 'The Outsiders'. Thank you to my husband, Weird-Looking Character Actor, for giving me wings to fly...

It's one of the more endearing things that Super-Mega-Hollywood Stars do. That paper is an important acknowledgment that they had hopes. That they needed to say a sincere thanks. That they did not want to leave anyone out.

Last week I sent off a worksheet to my publisher that included questions about cover art suggestions, character descriptions and blurbs. And then there were the acknowledgments. It seemed a tad pretentious to have them at hand but there is no use pretending that one hasn't been holding one's hairbrush like a microphone, flipping one's towel hairdo in front of the bathroom mirror and accepting the Hugo Award for years.

Still, there are bound to be people who have been left out of the fulsome (but precisely as modest as is tasteful) thanks. Here are some of mine:

*The person who invented ready-made meals at Costco. Chicken Alfredo Dude, you fed my family. Rotisserie Lady, you deserve a medal.

*The preschool teachers who took the Littlest Pledge when no one would pick her up for free on the sidewalk.

*Every person who visited my home and refrained from downgrading the Yelp rating on the grounds of cleanliness.

*People Who Did Not Stop By. You are my favorite. Right up there with People Who Did Not Phone.

*My Crock-pot. Never has an inanimate object done so much for so long.

There's my list. I'm sure I could have gone on. What unsung heroes are you thankful for?

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